Shocking!

On Thanksgiving Day, I drove to an upscale neighborhood, parked down the street from a luxurious home, walked to the front door, and smashed it in with a sledgehammer.

Right away, I came across a large gathering of children, teens, and adults gathered around the dining room table eating Thanksgiving Dinner.

At first, they were shocked by my entrance, but when I explained that I was moving in, joining them for dinner, and that I expected them to now take responsibility for my needs, they became quite agitated.

Of course, I did my best to explain that I had very little, and because they had so much, it was only fair they share their wealth. After all, America has started the process of embracing socialism and open borders so what was their’s must certainly now be mine.

I explained that I had dropped out of school, my smoking and drinking had hurt my health, and that I certainly had no intention of actually working for a living. I further explained that my wife, our 4 kids, and my in-laws — along with their children — would arrive any day, and I expected this happy — and wealthy — family to care for all of us.

The father directed me to a shelter downtown, but I assured him that his home was much more suited to my needs and the needs of my family. Then I suggested they just set another place so I could enjoy the wonderful Thanksgiving dinner they’d prepared.

At first, there was some conversation about calling the police, but I put an end to that by busting up some furniture with my trusty sledge hammer.

Now I don’t like violence and in the end, I only want what Democrats in America say I am entitled to. Free everything — health care, education, housing, food stamps, whatever I need.

So if you’re like me, and love the good life — but don’t want to get a job so you can afford it — don’t worry. Once the Democrats re-take power, they’ll take care of it for you.

On the other hand, if you’re one of those who don’t mind having a job, great. Work hard, work long, make more. Democrats are going to need your money to pay for all that free stuff they’ve promised me.